Family

On Ryan's Barney CD - That we listen to EVERY.SINGLE.DAY - there is a song about family. The other day I asked him if he had a sister, and he said "No, but I have girl cousins!" Today when the song came on, I asked him if he would want a brother or sister. He very adamantly said "No!" And then said "I already have cousins!" I guess cousins are good enough for him!

Make new friends...but keep the old

Conversation between me and Ryan last night during dinner:

Ryan: "Where's Monique?" (Monique was his absolute favorite teacher at his previous school)
me: "I'm not sure where she is, she is probably at home. We can call her sometime to say hi if you want."
Ryan: (Picking up my Blackberry) "Call Monique!"
me: "Do you miss Monique?"
Ryan: "Yes. And my friends."
me: "Which friends?"
Ryan: "Greer and Wen-Shiang." (friends from his previous school)

The way he said it, in a little soft voice, just about broke my heart. I blinked back tears, gave him a hug and told him we will see them soon. I think a phone call to Monique, and a playdate with his little friends, definetely needs to be scheduled.

What a difference a week makes!

One week ago, I wrote a very sad blog entry about Ryan being sad at his new school. I am happy to report that, in the past week, things have improved dramatically!! It started last Thursday, when I went to pick him up and he was happily dancing around the room to his favorite Barney CD. He excitedly said "I listen to Barney at school!!" He was excited to see me, but then went back to dancing, and did not leap into my arms as he did the first 3 days. His face was not as red, with no tear stains. The scene repeated itself on Friday. I almost cried tears of joy, I was so happy! His teachers said he had done a lot better during the day, a lot less crying, more playing and interacting. I was so happy!

All weekend he talked about not wanting to go to his new school, and this continued Monday and Tuesday morning. He was very sad at home when he realized he had to go back. He cried and said "no new school" and screamed when I dropped him off. But each day when I called to check on him, they said he was doing "great." Not "better" but "GREAT!" They said he is starting to really interact with the other kids too. When we left yesterday, he hugged his teacher goodbye! Yesterday morning, for the first time, he did not cry at home and did not tell us he didn't want to go to school. Instead he said to Tim "School is fun" when he woke up. He didn't cry at home, didn't cry in the car and only cried a little when I dropped him off. In fact, I could tell the crying had stopped by the time I made it from his classroom to the front door. Each day that I check on him, his teachers say he is doing great. Today I did not call to check on him at all.

I am so proud of my little guy. Although it felt like a lot longer, it really only took one solid week for him to adjust and acclimate to his new surroundings. Thank goodness because I don't want to relive a week like last week again...ever!!

Natty Boh

I can't believe that i have yet to talk about Ryan's love of Natty Boh on this blog. Natty Boh is the one eyed mascot for National Bohemian beer, a local beer here in Baltimore that is somewhat of a Baltimore institution. You see the Natty Boh guy everywhere - on billboards, t shirts, signs, in restaurants and of course, on the cans and bottles of the beer itself. Very close to our house is the old National Brewery building, which was been renovated and now houses retail and living space. At the top of this building sits Natty Boh himself. Whenever we drive by, Ryan yells out "There's Natty Boh!" If he can't see him, he says "I can't see Natty Boh!" I don't see him yet!" At his old daycare, he could see Natty Boh across the water from the playground. One day while they were all playing outside, he started pointing saying "I see Natty Boh!" His teachers at first did not understand him, and later told me that they tried to think of what he could possibly be saying. They said to each other "He can't be saying Natty Boh." But he was! Now that Ryan is attending a new daycare, we no longer drive by the Natty Boh building on our way to school. No worries, as on our new route, there is a billboard advertisement for a local jeweler, that has a picture of Natty Boh proposing to the Utz potato chip girl....When we pass this each day, Ryan now says "Look, there's Natty Boh...And Mrs. Boh!"

The ironic part of all of this? Tim and I don't even drink Natty Boh beer! :)

It's a wonderful toy

Last night Ryan was eating his rotini pasta. After eating for a little while, he grabbed a piece, looked at it, and said " This looks like a slinky!"

Following the rules

We have recently been telling Ryan that when he is upstairs, he has to walk and cannot run. This is because we don't have a gate at the top of the stairs and I'm afraid he will be running around up there, not paying attention, and slip right down the stairs. We are always with him upsairs, but giving him rules to follow about safety can't hurt. We have told him when he is downstairs, however, he can run. This weekend Ryan was running around downstairs, but only had socks on, and Tim was afraid he would slip and fall on the hardwood floors so he told him to stop running, and to walk. Ryan looked at him and said "Daddy, I walk UPstairs! Downstairs, I can run!" And...he had a point - he was just following the rules :)

Lonely teardrops

This is a sad week for us. Ryan is sad, which in turn makes Tim and I sad. There truly is nothing worse than seeing his sad little face, with his chin and lip quivering, trying to be brave and not cry, but then giving in and crying sad little tears. It is all I can do to hold my own tears back in front of him, and I have not been succeeding very well. Let me back up and start at the beginning.

Ryan had been at a local daycare center since 12 weeks of age. He was in the infant room for 9 months, then the toddler transition room for about 6 months, and then the "2's" room for about 10 months. He absolutely loved it there. He loved the setting, the teachers, and the kids. Sure, we had days here and there where he would cry and cling to us at drop off - But I could tell it was fake, his teachers knew it was fake, and it usually ended by the time I reached my car. He would then run and play the rest of the day. Because he had been there so long, he knew all the teachers, and they all knew him. He had nicknames like "Bossman" and "Mayor Ryan." He ruled the school, he thought he was in charge and sometimes they let him be. They knew exactly how to make him smile, laugh, snap him out of a funk, and put him in a good mood. Heck, if you think about it (and I don't like to) he spent more time with them over the course of his short life, than he did with us. He was there 40+ hours a week for almost 2 straight years. It's all he knew.

In late October, we found out that, for several reasons, Ryan's daycare center was closing. I was in denial, then mad, then sad. It was a tough couple of months while we toured new centers and tried to find the place that was the best fit for him and his personality, while still being in a convenient location and affordable. There is a Montessori school very close to his old daycare where several of his little friends went, including Abe (who Ryan had been with since 12 weeks of age), Wen-Xiang (who Ryan had been with since about 18 weeks of age), and Ava (our neighbor and Ryan's girlfriend) After a lot of tours and research, I decided that, even though his friends would be there, the Montessori was not the right place for him. We instead selected a childcare center close to where both Tim and I work, also not far from home, that had the same look and feel (as well as a similar curriculum) as his old center. We were happy with our decision. Until we actually had to go through with it.

Today is Ryan's 4th day at the new center. I prepared myself for the worst, I talked to other parents whose kids had transitioned (including Abe's mom and Ava's mom). I knew there might be full days of crying, screaming at drop off, and just general sadness. I told myself Ryan might be different, because he is so social and outgoing. He usually plays with new kids as soon as he meets them and warms up very quickly to new people in general. I thought "He can't possibly cry all day long." Well, I didn't prepare myself well enough. This has been one of the toughest weeks for me since I became a mother. I have cried more this week than I did when I left him as a newborn. I have been second guessing my decision to choose this center, rather than the Montessori school, where at least he would have known a lot of the other kids already. Tim has been handling drop off, and they have been going as we would expect, with a lot of tears. What I did not prepare myself for was that when I picked him up at the end of the day, his little face would be red and tear stained and still sad....8+ hours after we left him there. Picking him up used to be the best part of my day - I loved sneaking in before he knew I was there - watching him run around with his friends, or reading stories, doing computer time, or eating snack. I still love picking him up - But it breaks my heart to see him hovering near a teacher, with fear and uncertainty in his eyes. In mornings, and on the ride home he has been melancholy and sad, saying several times "No new school." When we get home he clings to me while he watches Mickey Mouse, sitting on my lap with his arms around me, which he NEVER did before. At bedtime he is extra clingy too, we had a couple of nights of crying at bedtime, but last night was better. Maybe we're turning a corner.

I know it will get better. It HAS to. I know he will be better for it. He can't stay in one place his whole life, and he needs to learn how to deal with change. I know we are not scarring him for life and that what is happening is 100% normal (his teachers have even told me so). I know he will survive. I'm just not sure I will :(